Flawed

In Hollywood the very perfect looking people never get good roles. That's because, perfection is BORING. John Malcovitch-ugly, Danny Devito-little, Nick Cage...I mean come on, have you looked at his face? The list can go on; Angelina's lips are too big, Jodi Foster is plain, Jack Nicholson is creepy. It's their flaws that made them famous. The same can go for internal flaws. Flaws can be quite charming, and even be....dare I say it...beautiful. It's not common thought that flaws are the things that can make you, or make you beautiful, but when we look at some of our most beloved characters in literature; King David and his wild passions, Scarlet O' Hara and her relentless and sometimes cruel determination to survive and even that blasted Bella Swan and her self sacrificial stupidity that makes a handsome and perfect immortal fall in love with her; we see that without these flaws-there would be no stories. You see on the opposite side of David's passions-which led him to kill a man for a hottie named Bathsheba-was a man described as "Having a heart after God's own heart". God himself bragged about the quality of David's heart. I mean, without David's wild passions, there would be no Psalms, no story about a brave boyling taking out a giant with a little sling. If David had been passionless, he wouldn't have done any of the courageous and awsome things we know him for. But, the same spirit that led him to dance through the city in his underoo's was a twin to the passion that made him spy on a married woman like a royal pervert. Can I just say; I HEART DAVID! He's in the Bible for goodness sakes, stamped into history... flaws and all.....-and God used him-flaws and all. And he'll use you. But, not while you are drowning in your flaws. By this I mean being so focused on yourself and your shortcomings that you miss what is the good twin to your flaw.
Sometimes, you won't be the brain in the family, or you'll be the brain and have no creative instincts, or you'll be the ugly duckling, OR you'll be the pretty that one no one takes seriously. But, perhaps if you had been the brain, you would have been focused on becoming a doctor and would have missed the hands on path that God wanted you to take. If you were pretty, you might have been shallow and missed that awsome spirit of compassion you developed in its place. If you had brains and beauty, you might not have had to work as hard as you do now to prove yourself, which as a result produced a strong spirit. Even the things that make you sulk and chew your hair-have purpose. So, next time when you start fretting about how you are not the smart one, or the pretty one, or the creative one...remember that you are not those things for a purpose. Don't covet what you are not supposed to have. Having those things might have ruined you. I often wonder why God couldn't have given me a stronger talent for writing....or for dancing....or for singing. Why I am just mediocre at everything I do (including school). Focusing on this, could make me feel inferior and could also make me forsake the things I love to do. For those of you who know me...actually for those of you who have even only glanced at me-know that I lean a tad towards arrogant. If I had been any better at anything I do, I would have been a monster. As a result of my flaws; I work hard to improve, I never give up and let myself get discouraged and I remain humbled. God uses this. In ministry terms; I never give up on people, I never go away until I've shaken things up- no matter how much you tell me to...and I humbly serve a creator that actually chose a rotter like me. My flaws work for me. I enjoy the fact that I'm not the smartest, not the best writer...not the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL, because I know there is purpose in that. God needed me to go down his path, and if my head had been any bigger than it is now, I would not have developed the intense compassion and the desire to help people that composes every part of who I am. So, when you think about what you aren't-think about what you are because of what you aren't....and love it!

Princess Confidence

Tra-la-la.
Remember when we were younglings and we'd make-believe we were a princess, or pretend to pour tea into those teeny, pink cups..... or in my case; pretend that Jonathan Taylor Thomas was my boyfriend..... (I made out with a bread roll during this pretend).
Our little imaginations zoomed us out of the "burbs" and placed us in faraway lands. In fact, our imaginations were so powerful that sometimes it was hard to grasp reality when we'd been lost in the make believe...(telling people that I was dating Jonathan Taylor Thomas).
Even today as a mother, I can often convince my stubborn mind that I am not tired-especially when baby bright eyes wakes me up seven times a night. Or last week; I convinced myself that I loved water-and I did-until I had that fatal sip of Coke and remembered what ecstasy tasted like. The truth is, pretending works even for adults, especially when our minds have to be cajoled into something.
When I was a teen, I looked something like a cross between a young Hermione Granger and Ugly Betty: braces, frizzy hair, zits galore....
I decided that even though I was a member of the fugly gang, I was not going to let anyone intimidate me. I would walk into the cafeteria and coach myself by saying: "NO ONE INTIMIDATES YOU-NO ONE" and I would strut around with my nose in the air, like I didn't have mosquito-bite boobs and there wasn't a "kick me" sign stuck to my back. For a while it was just an act. I was pretending to be confident even though I really wasn't, and then....I can't pin-point when- it became a reality. I morphed into the self assured girl, I was pretending to be. Isn't that the way with everything? "Hang out with the wrong crowd" -your mom used to say-"and you'll become just like them..". Be friends with a super cool fashionista and you'll find yourself accessorising. Pretending you're confident will start as a behavior, turn into a habit and become a mindset. Osmosis if you will. You are training yourself by using mind over matter.
When I used to walk into a room, I would remind myself that the people in it, were just that-people. They pooped the same way I did, came into this world the same way I did and most likely felt insecure the same way I did. If I was in a room of non-Christians, I would remember that I had the upper hand because I knew truth and they didn't. If it was a Christian thing... well we all know what nerds Christians tend to be-you don't have to try very hard to feel cooler than them. So go swagger around the grocery store like you're the hottest girl there, give your presentation as if you're the only one that's smart and make purring noises at the boy you like-actually-no, don't do this-but you get my drift....
To this day-No one intimidates me....and if I'm scared-I talk myself out of it.
So coin whatever phrase works for you (mine=No one intimidates you Tarryn-NO ONE), and claim it like your bastard child.

Good luck and goodnight.

Bloggerphoria

To everyone who has been sending me e-mails and writing comments about the blogs-thank you. You have no idea how happy it makes me that you find value in my humble opinions :).
It is because of the nice things that you say, that I keep writing-call me a whore for compliments. I love you all, and I pray for all of you often.

Incentive: breaking the habit for God's sake

Last time, we spoke about the dire need for you to change your thought patterns. Thought bashing is habitual and so ingrained in your personality, that it is going to take discipline and dedication in order to remove it from your daily process. Before we move on to anything else, I would like to take the time to remind you of something......God feels. He feels a million times more intensely then we do. He created the emotions in us and we are simply made in his image, therefore what we feel is just a shadow of what he feels. This includes the way we love, hurt, experience joy etc.

Every time you complain about yourself, whether in thought or word, you are insulting God's divine intelligence. Now, I am going to give you an analogy that insults your intelligence:
You're having a baby. Let's say it's a girl, we'll name her Muffin. You've been trying to have Muffin for a very long time, and you are overjoyed that she is coming. Let's say that in 2015, there is this ultra modern technology that allows you to play God and chose how Muffin will be made. So after much deliberation, you give Muffin green eyes, blond curls (your grandmother had blond curls and she was the godliest women you knew), and you gift her with this rock awesome musical ability. But, just to make sure Muffin doesn't get distracted from her music, you add some "bad at math" into the batch to ensure that there will be no joining of the "Math League" for your precious baby.
Muffin grows into a headstrong tween-she's beautiful. Except, she's not turning out quite the way you planned. She's a people pleaser; she hates her gorgeous, blond hair because in the future it's cool to have brown hair. Her musical talent is undeniable, but she constantly finds fault with it and calls herself a loser because she's bad at math. She starts imitating her friends-which makes you pinch your lips in distaste-those brats were conceived the old fashioned way, and don't have a smidgen of the stuff Muffin has. She begins series of destructive behavior; cutting herself, dating boys who will grow up to suppress women and dying her incredible hair that was a gift from your grandmother. All the while, your heart is breaking because you created Muffin to change the world, and here she is farting away her potential. It would hurt you so much to know that you gave this girl the tools to be great and all she did was whine about her shortcomings. It would be a slap in the face.

Please stop slapping God in the face.
He knew what He was going when he made you and it was done for a purpose. You are a fool to think that anything in a God-given life has no reason or rhyme to it.
Your face; planned. Your mind; planned. Your hooked nose; planned.
The sooner you embrace the fact that each item in your being was created to serve Jesus Christ, the healthier you'll be. Perhaps, had He made you perfect looking, you would have sought a modelling contract instead of college and by 22 you would have a cocaine addiction instead of a ministry with youth. Selfish. Would you really trade the purpose for your life for a flatter stomach?...for larger eyes? You were fearfully and wonderfully made according to what God thinks is beautiful. Now, you can be stubborn and insist that Vogue is right, but rest assured that Vogue isn't going to Heaven and answering to God. And really ladies, can you imagine standing in front of God's throne and reciting your complain list? Mine would go something like this:

"Gee, thanks God-loove the chicken legs you gave me-not! I totally hate them. Oh and my personality-it sucks-I tell the truth, but guess what?- no one likes to hear it. Oh, and I'm pretty dense-can't do algebra. You couldn't have been a little more generous in the brain department huh?"......


He hears you, you know? Every time you think these things, he hears you.

Just a little incentive to fix the problem...........

Confidence Speaks!

We've looked at some of the probable causes of your insecurity. We've also looked at how Satan benefits from it. Now we need to take some steps towards change. This is step one of the "action" portion of our little seminar.

Ready?

Good.


In 2004 the Cancer Recovery Foundation of America did research into the power of positive thinking and made the following statement:

"Psychosomatic illnesses can worsen when given special attention. Instead of paying direct attention to pain or illness, every time a negative thought occurs, say something like, "It will be better than I think." When a wish of any desired condition is established in the mind, somehow the unconscious mind leads the wish to realization-not magically, but through mental programming."

Thousands of people across America have made similar claims in response to the "miraculous" healing of their disease. I believe this to be true. I also believe that if positive thinking can heal people of their physical ailments, it can work the same way for emotional ones.

Having a lack of confidence is like emotional cancer. It eats away at your potential until there is nothing left but the skeleton of what you could be. Now girls, if we look at two very important verses you will see that the Bible backs up these claims.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21)

"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." (Proverbs 15:4)

Helloooooo, God is telling us that our words have power.
So, constantly rehearsing all of your "shortcomings" in your mind forces you to believe them. You are programming yourself to fail in life. Pretty damn sad isn't it?

You can speak confidence into your being. This means that when a thought like: "I'm not as pretty as her" pops into your head, you immediately take a baseball bat to it, and hit it out of the mental field.DO NOT ENTERTAIN INSECURE THOUGHTS. Thinking dour thoughts about yourself is so much a part of your everyday, that they pop up automatically. AND when they do, you have to learn to immediately chase them away. Think of it as if your having a beach picnic. Sea Gulls are going to swoop in from every direction, screaming while trying to steal your lunch. You'll have to wave your arms,yell, get aggressive in order to chase them away. And if you've ever had a sub at the beach, you'll know that they are persistent little buggers. Get aggressive with your thoughts. Be disciplined and smack at them like the mosquitoes they are.

Next

Replace them. If your insecurity tells you that Barbara Big Boobs has a much better body than you, you politely remind your insecurity that if Barbara's body and your intelligence went to war, you'd lay her out in five seconds flat. Or you can simply rely on the fact that you are more creative, or that you're busy working out to attain a Barbie physique, or that her mousy hair will never shine like yours. Find a couple things that you really like about yourself and focus on them. If you can't think of any, e-mail me and I'll let you know what they are.
None of us can have it all. Either your scales are heavy on the beauty or they are tipping deep on talent or intelligence. The good news is: you can make yourself prettier by working out, using make-up and dressing appropriately for your body type: you can make yourself more knowledgeable by LEARNING (reading): and you can find your hidden talents by exploring (EVERYONE HAS TALENTS). But you ain't gonna get anywhere by speaking insecurities into existence. Practice makes perfect my little darlings. If you are half as consistent in reminding yourself about your strengths as you were in telling yourself how much you sucked-you will be on a healthy start to healing that gashing wound we call self dissatisfaction.

Viva Positive thoughts!

And the Feminist says: Praise the Lord!

So we all had the flu a few weeks ago; Little Miss, James and I. And James swears that he had something different to what Scarlet and I had. He didn't of course. We all sufferred equally. However, while Scarlet and I dealt with our sickness like Amazon warriors, James kinda looked like a wilted french fry. I remember my dad walking around the house moaning-literally-Moaning when he was sick. It was like someone was slicing off his toes. My mom with the same illness would go to work, come home and make dinner, take care of sick him, sick me......

I'd love to see them give birth...maybe to their egos. Their eyes would be bulging, they'd be roaring and bucking around-commanding all the women in the room to submit to them.....and then they'd hold their little egos in their arms and feel so darn good about the fact that it had the largest penis in the room.


Seriously, all nonsense aside; it's so much harder to be a woman than it is to be a man. We are superior in most everything and yet we are commanded to submit. It's like telling a lion to eat his vegetables. It's unnatural and infuriating. Yet the Bible asks us to deny ourselves often. So we must.(I'm also the biggest hypocrite because I don't)

You know what I find uber annoying? When those docile, Christian wives look at you sideways for having an opinion. They act like because women are told to submit, they are supposed to be quiet and meek all the time. I'm pretty sure that the Proverbs woman, who ran her home, a successful business and took care of her children and husband, wasn't sitting in Mr. Proverbs shadow. Pretty sure that the super accomplished Proverbs woman would look at the docile, Christian wife sideways.

It's no suprise to me that the Bible commands women to be submissive. The Bible is always commanding greatness to be humble- to be a servant. Jesus served us. We serve men. Follow the big, bad, manly husband. Not because we are less, but because there are laws to follow. Give unto Ceasar what is Ceasar's. We are equal with God-given boundaries. It sucks and hopefully we get a crown for it or something. I'd like a pair of fourteen karat gold stilhetto's with diamond encrusted buckles that sing "Wild Thing" when I walk. (Please, please, please God...)

We are supposed to be Helpmeets. What does that mean? Are you ready?
Helping.....your man....Meet...his potential. We are exhorters, encouragers, orgaizers, lovers. We give birth to them, we raise them to be good men and then we marry them to make sure they are being good men. And that is no second rate job either sister. We have the bucking, wild ego's to contend with. A man is the head and the woman is the neck that turns the head in the right direction. Without the neck, the head wouldn't be able to see all the angles.So stop acting like dull eyed, dim witted barbie dolls and have a freaking opinion. Your opinion could make all the difference to that man-beast you're married to.

The Purpose of Insecurity

Ephesians 5:12
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world. Against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Let's play the "what if" game.

What if-your insecurity is actually an attack on your person, to hinder your usefulness for God?

What if-you are so focused on your shortcomings, that the gifts and talents God has placed inside of you are going ignored?

What if-God has specific purpose for your life, specific people that he needs you to reach, and you are so consumed by your insecurity you are walking right past them?


I'm not going to tell you something sweet about how your image suffering is going to bring glory to God. That's not even close to the truth. What it is doing, is affecting your ability to do His will here on earth.

I think this is one of those genius plans that Lucifer's war generals developed: How to render Christian women of the 21st century useless.
(raspy voice)"We'll make them feel inferior. Make beauty an issue, skinniness and issue. We'll make men abuse them, until they spend their lives feeling so inadequate God couldn't use them if he tried."
How clever to attack a woman's confidence so that it maims her boldness.Or so that it fills her mind leaving no room for anything else.

While you focus on your inadequacies, your enemy is stealing your potential. He's telling you that you don't have any. The noise of what is wrong with you is so loud in your head that when God speaks and tells you to do something, you can't hear him.
God has given each of us gifts and talents. We are supposed to find out what they are, develop them and use them. But you don't even know you have them because you are too busy fretting over your cankles.

I have a very close friend who struggled with issues of worthlessness her whole life. She would never speak in front of people because she didn't want to draw attention to herself. One day she got angry at her own weakness and decided to make a change. It took time to build confidence. She got braces, she changed her hair, and then she surprised us all. She is a wordsmith. She can talk circles around anyone arguing with her. Her success rate with convincing people that Jesus is the only way, is astounding. I believe Satan knew there was a calling on her life and he was trying to keep her quiet. What is he trying to keep quiet in you?

You are fighting a spiritual battle and you didn't even know it. Now you do.

So what do you do?

You fight spiritual warfare with prayer. You put on the armor of God and hold up the shield of faith-believing that you are called and chosen, and knowing that darts are going to be shot at you to make you think otherwise. You get angry and you fight back. When thoughts of your insufficiency's come seeping into your mind, you recognize them for the lies they are. Lies that are sent by your enemy to steal your purpose.



Now, everyone scream MOXIE!